Sol cruises into the airy reception area of the conference and nobody pays much attention even though he's developed some of the hottest applications sold in the past 2 and a half years. Like every other developer, he's wearing shorts, a stained T-shirt and running shoes. Tall and stocky, Sol has a slow, bobbing walk, like a nervous Pigeon. I flag him down and he nods towards the elevator and I follow his lead.
The doors open and a rush of sweaty developers pour out and push Sol and me to the side where we hug the walls. There isn’t a woman in sight.
Inside, Sol quickly punches an elevator button and we make our way to the basement floor, where he’s set up a small office for us to talk in amongst hissing pipes, empty boxes and overflowing, pungent trash cans.
When did you notice this decline in iPhone applications?
I’ve known it from the beginning! Hell, we all knew it but we were just too damn frightened to admit it. When you are making $1200.00 an hour to write an application about farting you know exactly what’s going on.
Why are you coming out now?
Look, all the money in the world isn’t going to change the fact that we’re going to hell for this. Nobody needs these apps and it’s time for people to come to their senses.
Why are you doing this interview anonymously?
The iPhone application industry has a side that you just don’t see unless you are in it. There are 5 families that control every bit of output from all over the world. When I got into this, I was still in college and didn’t know any better.
So you graduated from college in computer science?
No. They wouldn’t let me finish my degree.
They? Who is ‘they’?
Them. Once you are in, that’s it. It’s all about production and they don’t care what gets produced. They said that sales would suffer if everyone wasn’t working at their full potential and schooling would just get in the way. How do you think there are enough apps to merit 1 Billion sales? The families have an iron grip on every bit of code that gets written all around the world.
What do you want to see happen in the next 5 years?
I want to see as many worthless iPhone applications banned as possible - that’s why I agreed to be interviewed. You are on the right track with your site. It’s time that people woke up and stopped downloading thoughtless data that is being force fed to them.
If you could offer any advice to aspiring iPhone developers, what would it be?
Just don’t do it. It’s not worth it. The money, the women and the fame will just make you feel empty. For me it’s too late.
Thank you for the opportunity to interview you Sol.
It’s been my pleasure Chuck.